YOURS IN HEALTH

MORE THAN LAUNDRY LISTS

by Buck Harris

In the last issue I promised I was going to write about anal intercourse. But there's something I must talk about first.

There is more to practicing safer sex than just a laundry list of "do's and don'ts". Most of us are aware of the ways in which the virus that causes AIDS is transmitted. Sexual behaviors are categorized as safe, possible safe/possibly risky, and risky. The decision about my behavior boils down to what I call situational/sexual ethics. The degree of risk I'm willing to take depends on how I feel about the person I'm with and, in some instances, what I know or don't know about his HIV status. I must also take into consideration my own status. Let me explain.

If I just meet someone and there seems to be mutual sexual attraction and an encounter is arranged, the things I'd be willing to do with that person would be very limited. I'd pick my tricks from the "safe" category. At this point knowing his HIV status is irrelevant because I don't know him well enough to risk his not telling the truth or he may not even know. I presume him to be exposed.

So we meet and things go well. Romance is in the air. I decide he's someone I'd like to have candle-light dinner with, followed by breakfast. Over dinner, we need to negotiate what is permissible in the way of dessert. Tongue wrestling, though considered

possible safe, is something I would not wish to exclude from our love making (unless either one of us had open sores or cuts in the mouth).

If this relationship continues to blossom we may wish to engage in anal intercourse with a condom. Condoms are not 100% effective but we need to weigh the risks. If my partner is HIV infected and I am not, it would be less risky for me to be the inserter. If at this point we were to make a commitment to a closed relationship and we had not been tested we might wish to do so. I don't believe that a relationship should be based on HIV status. What I do sexually should be.

The bottom line (poor choice of words perhaps) is that I must evaluate my behavior by the situation I'm in. To help you arrive at an informed decision I've included a list that has been formulated by a number or prominent AIDS groups. Please keep informed. Information does change.

If you know yourself to be HIV positive, I believe you have an obligation to inform your partners. Furthermore, you need to protect yourself against repeated infection and other infections like Hepatitis, CMV, and other sexually transmitted diseases. Unless you know your partner to be free from all of these pathogens, select behaviors only from the safe category.

Buck Harris is Gay Health Consultant/Public Health Advisor on AIDS for the Ohio Department of Health. He is certified by AASECT as a sex educator, and trained at the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) as an STD (Sexually Transmitted Disease) Technician.

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